“The big New York primary, which happens next Tuesday, is looking pretty good for Hillary Clinton. In fact, website FiveThirtyEight says Hillary has a 99 percent chance of winning the primary for New York. When he heard, Bernie Sanders said, ‘My God, I’ve become part of the 1 percent!’” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bernie Sanders this morning joined the Verizon workers picket line here in New York. It’s a perfect match, because Bernie always talks like he’s getting bad reception.” – Seth Meyers

“Bernie Sanders today received his first senatorial endorsement from Oregon Sen. Jeff Merkley. Or as he’ll be known under President Hillary Clinton, ‘Ambassador to North Korea Jeff Merkley.’” – Seth Meyers

“Trump’s family was also at the town hall, and Trump’s daughter Ivanka was asked if the election is straining her friendship with Chelsea Clinton. Which means we have officially begun the presidential campaign of 2032, everybody!” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump’s son Eric said last night that his father is his ‘best friend in the entire world.’ Said Donald, ‘Right back at ya, Jeff.’” – Seth Meyers

“Last night, CNN hosted a town hall with Republican front-runner Donald Trump, and at one point he ‘complained that the rules of the election are stacked against him ‘by the establishment. You gotta give it to Trump. He’s the only man who could inherit millions of dollars, have his name on buildings, and still go, ‘Life is totally unfair!’” – Jimmy Fallon

“Some prominent Republican congressmen are saying they might not even go to the convention, which is in Cleveland this summer. Not because it might get crazy — they’re saying they can’t go because they have work to do. This summer. These are congressmen. All of a sudden they’ve got work to do?” – Jimmy Fallon

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Political Irony